#74 Why Do I Have the Life I Have and How Can I Build Momentum Through Clarity?

When you feel stuck, ask: “Why do I have the life I have?”

Francois Esterhuizen explains how vague wants, forgotten whys, and urgent distractions sustain stuckness — and how clarity and daily action rebuild focus and momentum.

This is not a rhetorical question. It is a diagnostic tool. When you feel stuck, it is the most practical question you can ask, provided you look for the answer internally. The feeling of being stuck is not a destination you arrive at by accident. It is not a ditch you have fallen into while waiting for rescue.

It is an environment you actively sustain through your daily choices, your habits, and the stories you tell yourself. The way forward is not found in grand, five-year plans or waiting for a moment of perfect clarity. It is found in the immediate, the practical, and the small. It is found in what you do today.

The anatomy of being stuck

We often think of being stuck as the result of a large, external obstacle. But more often than not, the obstacle is not something we are running into; it is a burden we are choosing to carry.

This burden is composed of several things:

• Vague wants: A desire to "diversify my income" or "be more financially free" feels productive to think about, but it is too abstract to act upon. It is a placeholder for a real goal, and its vagueness provides a safe and comfortable reason to do nothing. It is a thought that allows you to feel like you are moving forward without taking a single step.

• A forgotten "Why": Your motivation is anchored to your deepest "Why." When that "Why" is unclear or forgotten, your energy dissipates. A goal like "I want to be debt-free" is a what, not a why. Why do you want it? What will it enable? Without a powerful, emotionally resonant reason pulling you forward, the slightest friction will bring you to a halt.

• The tyranny of the "urgent": You sustain your stuckness by consistently choosing the urgent over the important. Answering emails, scrolling through feeds, and handling minor administrative tasks feel productive. They provide a sense of accomplishment. Yet, at the end of the week, you are in the exact same place, just more exhausted. You are fighting fires instead of extinguishing the source.

From fog to focus: The power of a single, clear target

Clarity is the prerequisite for momentum. You cannot hit a target you cannot see. The first step in dismantling the machinery of stuckness is to translate your vague want into a single, clear, actionable target.

This is a process of refinement:

• "I want to diversify my income stream" becomes...

• "I want to start my own side hustle" becomes...

• "I want to develop and sell one boutique property."

That final statement is a target. It is specific enough that you can begin to identify the very next step. It moves the goal from the realm of "someday" to the calendar. It transforms a wish into a project. This clarity is not about having the entire path mapped out. It is about knowing the direction of your very next step.

The engine of momentum: What can you do today?

Endless strategising is a form of procrastination. The antidote is not more thinking, but immediate, practical action. Once you have a clear target, the only question that matters is this:

What are three concrete things I can do today to move toward it?

These actions do not need to be monumental. They need to be real.

• "Develop a feasibility study" becomes "Spend one hour today researching building costs."

• "Find an investor" becomes "Draft and send an email to one potential contact today."

• "Systematise my business" becomes "Map out one part of my client onboarding process on paper today."

Each small action breaks the inertia. It provides a small win, building a feedback loop of confidence and competence. It proves to your brain that movement is possible. This is how momentum is built; not in giant leaps, but in the steady, deliberate accumulation of daily steps.

Take action

Stop analysing the feeling of being stuck and start diagnosing the actions that sustain it.

1. Identify the burden: What is the vague want or unresolved issue you are carrying with you every day? Write it down.

2. Define the real target: Refine that burden into a single, clear, actionable goal. What is the want within the want?

3. List your three actions for today: What are three small, practical, and immediate steps you will take before the day is over? Do not plan to do them. Do them.

Your future is not waiting for you to find it. It is waiting for you to build it, one day at a time.

Francois Esterhuizen is a life and leadership coach based in Stellenbosch, helping clients build focus, momentum, and clarity through the Tree of Clarity framework.