If you want to get clarity on where you are going in life, you have to start by asking this question: What do you want?
This is a very simple question, but it may be hard to answer if you haven't given it much thought.
No one’s going to tell you what you want. You have to figure it out and own it.
So, what do you want?
Take some time to write down 7 answers to this question. Focus on these three areas: your health, your relationships, your career or business.
(This is the first step of the journey on the Clarity Quest. The first part of the Quest is to help you refine what you want from seven goals down to one, crystal-clear goal that you will spend the rest of the journey wrestling with and aiming towards.
If you're ready to clarify exactly what you want and start becoming the person who can reach it, click here to book a free consultation with me.)
Calculating the cost
When you have put some work into figuring out what you want, you have to calculate what it is going to cost you to get what you want.
To figure out the cost, consider a number of things:
practical things (Time and money)
relational things (How will people respond? Will you lose friends? Distance family?)
intangible things (What fears will you have to face? What wounds might this unearth? What habits or practices will you have to stop or start?)
The cost will most certainly include mindfully and intentionally disappointing people more often.
Maybe you are the kind of person who says yes to many commitments to affirm your worth to other people or to maintain a certain status in society. The cost for you might mean saying no more often and becoming intentional about what you say yes to. It may also mean disengaging from activities, positions or relationships that don't align with what you want, even if they look good on paper.
Paying the price in full
Once you have determined the cost, you have to commit to pay the price in full - no discount, no bargains, no shortcuts.
Sometimes you will discover more costs along the way. These costs may be outside of your control and more than you bargained for initially, so you will have to assess them and decide whether you are willing to pay that extra price in full. If you are, you have to recommit to paying the price of going after what you want in full.
You have to structure and schedule time to go after the things you want. If you miss a deadline, reschedule it. You have to apply discipline to stick to your structure. Not discipline in a military sense, but discipline in the form of self-love. When I say this, I refer to my definition of love: Love is to do what is important, even when it is hard, and without it being urgent.
CONSIDER/ TAKE ACTION
If you have written down your seven wants, calculate the cost of one that stands out to you.
Are you willing to pay that price in full in order to achieve that goal?
What will it take for you to be able to pay that price?